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In Augut 2005, I presented three $1,000 U.S. postal money orders to a local bank, where I had a personal checking account. Because the money orders were backed by the U.S. government, I assumed, and the teller confirmed, they were good as cash. The money orders belonged to a law client, and I was to send him the proceeds.
So I cashed the money orders and asked the teller how I should endorse the money orders so that they would not be tied to my personal checking account in any manner. She asked the branch manager, and they both gave me a particular endorsement. That way I would not be taking possession of client funds, which have to be deposited in a separate trust account and not co-mingled with an attorney's own personal funds.
I sent the cash to the client, and 3 weeks later it turns out the money orders were counterfeit, and I was an innocent victim of a scam. I was just trying to help a fellow citizen in need and was acting under the mantra "Whatsoever you did to the least of my brothers, that you did unto me."
The bank took $3,000 out of my personal checking account + $20 counterfeit handling fee. I objected, could not get my objections resolved, and prosecuted the bank through two stages of trial courts and then now to the Court of Appeals. After spending an additional $2,000 out of pocket on court costs, I just learned that my appeal is going to go down in flames (lose my case), because Tennessee has a statute that gives a "collecting bank" blanket protection to recover funds from a depositor's account for any problem with payment on a negotiable instrument.
It does not matter how the money order was endorsed, it does not matter if the branch manager assured me the money orders would not be linked to my account, the bank still has full right to offset its losses from the customer's account. It comes as little consolation to learn that U.S. postal money order scams are rampant, and that thousands of sellers on eBay and other web sites have been cheated out of merchandise paid for with counterfeit money orders.
These paragraphs are background for the following spiritual dilemma:
1. Some people pray to God and get intervention in their lives. They are not praying "Thy Will be Done...." They are praying that some unlikely event will occur, and it does. They are praying for a recovery from illness in doubtful circumstances, and it occurs. Most recently, we were all overjoyed to see the 13 year old boy missing in Missouri was found. His parents made a point of saying that "prayers are answered" and "keep the faith."
2. I prayed that there would be a just resolution of this counterfeit money order matter, not that I would profit, but just that I would get back the money I lost from the bank. I prayed and prayed and prayed and explained to God I was struggling with my faith. I am not someone with rock solid faith; I needed a little boost to help me grow in my faith.
3. Thomas Merton wrote in THE SEVEN STOREY MOUNTAIN that he made the stations of the cross while visiting Gethsemani and prayed that he would be admitted to the Cistercians at the end of the stations. He said an older monk had told him that every prayer requested by someone at the end of the stations of the cross would be granted. I did not believe that when I read it, but I thought at least it emphasized the importance of saying the stations of the cross, so I would do that.
4. Last Easter, I made the stations of the cross 3 or 4 times. On the first time, I reserved my prayer at the end of the stations for the most important thing I could think of, in case God only heard one prayer: I wanted to be a saint like Thomas Merton.
5. (For non-Catholics, the stations of the cross are a series of 14 images of Christ as he carries his cross to Golgotha and is crucified. Catholics say prayers at each station or image, and try to relate Christ's suffering to their personal lives.) Upon completing the second and third times of saying the stations of the cross, I prayed that this bank case would be justly resolved.
6. I continued to pray about this case, and my spirits were bouyed when I wrote what seemed to be a strong appellate brief. Secretly, I have had a kind of inner joy that God knew what this case meant to me, and He would not let me down again.
7. Now spiritually, I have fallen flat on my face, AGAIN! I put my faith in God, trusted Him, and I got burned again. In fairness, God has given me enough income this past year that my standard of living won't be affected. But still, $5,000 now in out-of-pocket losses is a big deal to me, and it will affect some future choices.
8. Contemplative prayer is not helping me much. I feel I was meant to learn a lesson, and I did, but that lesson would have been equally learned even if the case had gone in my favor. Thomas Merton writes so lovingly about wanting to grow closer to God.
9. If someone prays to God over a 20-year period, and of 1,000 prayer intentions, only a handful are granted, doesn't the prayer seem rather pointless? A handful of these requests would have randomly occurred just with the law of averages as statistics play out. This experience has not drawn me closer to God. It leaves me feeling empty: not angry, just hurt.
Ironically, the only reading that helps me at this point in my troubles is medium George Anderson. He writes that no matter how much we suffer on earth, our souls are going through a self-enrichment process, and we will be glad one day for the benefits we obtained from suffering after we are born to eternal life. I hope Anderson is right.
Compared to parents who have lost a son or daughter in the war in Iraq, my sorrow is nothing. I just feel hurt that trying to do a good deed for my fellow man, then trying to stand up for justice has netted me more and more disappointment with the judicial system and to a lesser extent with God.
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